........is a long one made up of short thoughts and paranoia. How to conquer the doorway to the outside world without immersing oneself in the total despair of the anxious soul? I often think it is easier to stay behind the front door and watch the world through a spyhole.......there is no confrontation that way....the meeting of strangers that strikes the chord of discontent from within and grows to a maddeningly loud resonance echoing around confines of the troubled mind...that crazed mental shout of 'NO'!! Silence. Peace. Surrender. Barrier. Retreat. Close the door and hide.
This is an attempt at a journey into my psyche. A personal notepad or maybe dashboard to gather thoughts and express feelings.....easily done when walking in a daze through streets of shadows and alien images but more difficult when sitting and trying to formulate those images into the written form....digression and lackadaisicallity are constant soulmates fighting the creative urge......I shall try harder.....memories of 'must try harder' and 'has ability however rarely shows it' intrude as usual upon attempts of moving forward. Far easier indeed to stay in the same place...that fabled comfort zone of modern speak.....stretch oneself and explore new pathways. Easier said than done. Close the book and drink tea...retreat to bed and the comfort zone of duvet and sleep......darkness, quiet, peace.
Real world intrusion. More later.
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