Relationships, thoughts, desires and corruption..........

I often look back at my time and wonder what has made a relationship work.....a partnership, a meeting of minds and ideals or merely the trading of copious amount of sperm and vaginal fluids? We human beings are a relatively simplistic creature in that our wants are obvious and can be broken down into two needs - security and fellowship. Where the difference occurs between individuals we see the extent of need for each. Mr 'high flying pseudo executive' sees security in large financial gains and power broking - his fellowship wants tend to be the need for acceptance within his supposed peer groups, the people he (or she of course) is trying to climb over in order to reach an endless pinnacle of desire. His life partner will tend to be fleeting - there is never enough time to complete the security aspect in order to feed the needs of a partner / family. Choices are made within our emerging peer groups........to use the stereotypes, the poor black child turns to those with money - pimps, prostitutes, criminals - they have the glamour. His life path is set unless it can be broken, taken apart and re directionalized. Not an easy task and one the higher echelons of society rarely wants to engage. The middle class white boy growing up in is middle class neighbourhood and attending the 'better' schools, be they state or private, meets his peer group of blue collar workers and beyond - management, salesmen, doctors, solicitors.......he sees the success and aspires. Simple examples and, as i said, highly stereotyped. The truth is not far from that and who indeed is right or wrong? Society states the black child is scum and deserves his uneducated prison saturated future......the white child is also deserving of his path, an upstanding type who will contribute to the needs of society, pay taxes, vote for the correct party and go to church on a Sunday. Maybe not the latter (more of that in a future post). So, here we have 2 stereotypical children forced upon a path by their peer groups. Which child is wrong from their perspective? Or should we ask which child is right? Both follow how they are shaped by the society in which they are brought up - nature versus nurture can be argued however the starting blocks certainly mold an individual. For good or for bad. Swap the colours around and there is little difference. Yes, the world needs poorly paid, uneducated workers for the menial tasks that bring with them low pay and (generally) poor future prospects. In order for corporate greed to prosper, minimal wages are necessary. Unemployment is highly sort after in order to keep wages down and a populace fearful of losing the little security they have. Very small cogs in a very large machine. Very small indeed. One cogs fails the machine grinds on....more cogs fail and the machine grinds on and throws more cogs into the grinder.....what now the price of the individual? Take enough cogs from the machine and it will stall. Russia 1917. Is that what we need? A revolution in order to turn the tables on the ridiculous imbalances within world society? Think on that the rulers of today were the gangs of yesteryear.....and now we hand everything to them upon a plate. Nuff said. Change comes from within but starts from without. Back to relationships.........the lower levels of society (and I use the term loosely and without rancour) accept less........security is a wage coming in, be it benefits based or salary, and a roof over ones' head. The relationship will be stronger and more 'real' as it is based on an actual appreciation of where they are and a 'realistic' outlook on the future. Do we have affairs for any other reason that self gratification or revenge? Do we walk outside the confines of a partnership in order to test it to breaking point? Prove the love. Prove you win. Prove you are wanted, desired, worshipped? You had it all and now it has gone. The trust. Loner. Now try to find a new life partner - memories cloud your thoughts. Memories of what was good and the negatives pale. Why did you do it? Why do we climb mountains.........?? Because they are there. We are simple souls and fall prey to simplistic ideology. What is one man's right is another man's wrong. Think not of what the country can do for you? Why? We are the country. Politicians are there to guide the country during their oh so temporary guardianship. Are they? Security and relationship. How many politicians (and similar of their ilk) do we see that actually selflessly represent their country? Oh no. It is more a question of do what little we can and ensure we a secure for after the power leaves. Relationship? How many of those in power are caught in affairs of one form or another? The disdain they hold for the common people can be seen easily in the expenses debacle recently. It has always gone on and always will - each transgression was accepted and led to the next. It became habit and so who was wrong??? Black or white again? We are simple as I say. Find a partner. One to share life's abundant bounty. Someone not based on looks but on mind. The mind lasts longer than looks. Check the mirror and watch the person there - think where you are and accept or move on. Life choices are our own in many cases. Don't settle for a life you don't want when you have another option. Comfort zones are enticing however they suck you in and eat you artistic soul. Move on. Tread the path and find your soul mate. Security can be a bus ticket and a suitcase with the right destination.

Oblivion and darkness calls........

When does one first crave the freedom of the black pit of eternal oblivion? We come from nothing and return to nothing with a 'four score and ten' in between.....we don't ask for this and we do nothing to deserve this 'gift' of life. What becomes of those aborted souls and the potential lives that have never reached conception? Is every male ejaculate a doom filled spurt of incessant impossibilities? Each woman's period the same? We create the stuff for life and off it goes without reaching purpose. Orgasm. That little death. Is there therefore a dimension of spirits awaiting release? Filled with the pangs of jealousy that our own 'lottery winning' achievement of a life has given them? Do they ever achieve life and become either the successful goal searching individuals that shine within the light of humanity? Or do they become the searching individuals, those that never know their place...those for whom distrust, anxiety and depression is a daily companion.....a life shaping feeling of constant doom laden reflection? We have but one life.......if we end it do we join the queue to reincarnate ourselves for another chance in the lottery of birth? Another scratch card with infinitesimal chance of success? We are what we are......we are what we make of ourselves....the only one who can change you is you.....yes, I've heard them all. My companion in thought....must do better......must commit to the plan....must, must, must..... Where is the peace I cry out for? The drugs that calm my palpating heart, the shakes of the hands, the tremors in the throat as I meet a stranger passing by....is he the one? Why would he be the one? Is she the one? Why would she be the one? Passengers on a  tiny floating orb in the eternal cosmos......we shall be dust as are those before us? Who will remember my name in a thousand years? A thousand? Maybe grandchildren will remember my name if they appear. So, a hundred years? Will I live on? Do I have the same desire to live on in perpetuity as brave Achilles? I remember my mother's father but not my father's. He died the year I was born so he does not live on to any great extent within me.....a few memories passed on regarding his working life, pictures of his home where he brought up my father and his three brothers. Beyond that very little.....My mother's father I remember very well as I grew up with him a constant companion over weekends throughout my childhood. Would I return to that happy non-committal time? A freedom of sorts as the knowledge of the dredge of future life was not even imagined......would we swap our present for a replay of the past? Imagine the chance and then the realisation that once you were back there you could not change anything.... you are now a passenger within a movie..... everything the same....pre-ordained....karma. The same mistakes again. Would it be worth it? Or are we already travelling that path in a cosmic, ever-searching cycle of an almost altruic attainment of perfection? One life. One journey. Make of it what we can. Stay on the bus. Which bus? Down to you. To me. Timetables are changeable once you decide they can change. Or should that be 'are timetables changeable once you decide they can change'? Move the 'are' and we change the world.