I often look back at my time and wonder what has made a relationship work.....a partnership, a meeting of minds and ideals or merely the trading of copious amount of sperm and vaginal fluids? We human beings are a relatively simplistic creature in that our wants are obvious and can be broken down into two needs - security and fellowship. Where the difference occurs between individuals we see the extent of need for each. Mr 'high flying pseudo executive' sees security in large financial gains and power broking - his fellowship wants tend to be the need for acceptance within his supposed peer groups, the people he (or she of course) is trying to climb over in order to reach an endless pinnacle of desire. His life partner will tend to be fleeting - there is never enough time to complete the security aspect in order to feed the needs of a partner / family. Choices are made within our emerging peer groups........to use the stereotypes, the poor black child turns to those with money - pimps, prostitutes, criminals - they have the glamour. His life path is set unless it can be broken, taken apart and re directionalized. Not an easy task and one the higher echelons of society rarely wants to engage. The middle class white boy growing up in is middle class neighbourhood and attending the 'better' schools, be they state or private, meets his peer group of blue collar workers and beyond - management, salesmen, doctors, solicitors.......he sees the success and aspires. Simple examples and, as i said, highly stereotyped. The truth is not far from that and who indeed is right or wrong? Society states the black child is scum and deserves his uneducated prison saturated future......the white child is also deserving of his path, an upstanding type who will contribute to the needs of society, pay taxes, vote for the correct party and go to church on a Sunday. Maybe not the latter (more of that in a future post). So, here we have 2 stereotypical children forced upon a path by their peer groups. Which child is wrong from their perspective? Or should we ask which child is right? Both follow how they are shaped by the society in which they are brought up - nature versus nurture can be argued however the starting blocks certainly mold an individual. For good or for bad. Swap the colours around and there is little difference. Yes, the world needs poorly paid, uneducated workers for the menial tasks that bring with them low pay and (generally) poor future prospects. In order for corporate greed to prosper, minimal wages are necessary. Unemployment is highly sort after in order to keep wages down and a populace fearful of losing the little security they have. Very small cogs in a very large machine. Very small indeed. One cogs fails the machine grinds on....more cogs fail and the machine grinds on and throws more cogs into the grinder.....what now the price of the individual? Take enough cogs from the machine and it will stall. Russia 1917. Is that what we need? A revolution in order to turn the tables on the ridiculous imbalances within world society? Think on that the rulers of today were the gangs of yesteryear.....and now we hand everything to them upon a plate. Nuff said. Change comes from within but starts from without. Back to relationships.........the lower levels of society (and I use the term loosely and without rancour) accept less........security is a wage coming in, be it benefits based or salary, and a roof over ones' head. The relationship will be stronger and more 'real' as it is based on an actual appreciation of where they are and a 'realistic' outlook on the future. Do we have affairs for any other reason that self gratification or revenge? Do we walk outside the confines of a partnership in order to test it to breaking point? Prove the love. Prove you win. Prove you are wanted, desired, worshipped? You had it all and now it has gone. The trust. Loner. Now try to find a new life partner - memories cloud your thoughts. Memories of what was good and the negatives pale. Why did you do it? Why do we climb mountains.........?? Because they are there. We are simple souls and fall prey to simplistic ideology. What is one man's right is another man's wrong. Think not of what the country can do for you? Why? We are the country. Politicians are there to guide the country during their oh so temporary guardianship. Are they? Security and relationship. How many politicians (and similar of their ilk) do we see that actually selflessly represent their country? Oh no. It is more a question of do what little we can and ensure we a secure for after the power leaves. Relationship? How many of those in power are caught in affairs of one form or another? The disdain they hold for the common people can be seen easily in the expenses debacle recently. It has always gone on and always will - each transgression was accepted and led to the next. It became habit and so who was wrong??? Black or white again? We are simple as I say. Find a partner. One to share life's abundant bounty. Someone not based on looks but on mind. The mind lasts longer than looks. Check the mirror and watch the person there - think where you are and accept or move on. Life choices are our own in many cases. Don't settle for a life you don't want when you have another option. Comfort zones are enticing however they suck you in and eat you artistic soul. Move on. Tread the path and find your soul mate. Security can be a bus ticket and a suitcase with the right destination.
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